I've been watching a whole lot of TV because there's this awful cold/cough thing going around and it was inevitable that I would get it too. I have a horrible immune system. I've had a couple colds this month. What was super about it was that I couldn't breath. I've never had a cough like that. I had a cold last Thursday and then I was basically fine. Got a cough Saturday and started having major breathing problems. I didn't sleep Saturday because every time I tried to sleep, I would start not breathing and have to switch positions. The hypochondriac in me was worried I was going to die from pneumonia which I didn't have. Plus I sounded like one of those laser-tag guns. I did learn something about screenwriting during my television time, mostly from Gilmore Girls. Making problems is easy. Just have your characters over-react to non-problems and there you have it. Gilmore Girls actually has amazing writing, any screenwriter should envy it. On Sunday my breathing sounded more like a low-candy wrapper and I got a good night's sleep Sunday night. By Monday I could breath properly. I'm still tired. It's weird to be tired and dizzy at 10pm. I have to get up at like 7 tomorrow to go to a board meeting for the Merchant's Association since I'm fair coordinator. I had a good Pampered Chef show on Friday despite occasionally coughing and being really self-conscious about it. Although the guy that likes me kept trying to get me to give him a 10% discount. I'm working on my sales. I have two shows next month plus a catalog show. This week I'm traveling to Visalia, hell on earth. I lived there for two years. I love the people who are hosting the show though. Friday, I get to do a ton of collating, stapling, and labeling for the Chamber of Commerce newsletter. I wonder if they're going to pay this month. I know they owe me for last month but I have done basically nothing this month and they're losing money on the newsletter and are going to have to stop running it sometime soon.
The biggest thing to happen is that my 'friend' or not or whatever had emergency brain surgery today. I have a huge crush on him. He's my brother's best friend and he has worked for my dad for five years. He's that guy who when he was a child super glued his sock to the new linoleum floor with his foot inside it. He's that guy. He's also the guy who, when he has a car, drives cars into shopping carts for kicks. He hasn't had a working car in a while so he rides a bike and lives with his mom, which probably saves his life from time to time. He doesn't wear a bike helmut either. He was riding home in his bike last night from a friends house nearby at 12:30. There was a tree limb in the middle of the road and although he saw it, not in time to prevent doing some flips over it, landing on his head, and getting lots of scrapes. He had his mom pick him up in her car and get him home. He refused to go to the emergency room. I've heard that he had some missing hair on his head with scrapes there. At 3:30 in the morning he was throwing up. He had a concussion and should have gone to the emergency room at least then. But his mom couldn't convince him and he went to bed. In the morning he couldn't be woken so he had a fun ambulance ride. They did a cat scan and found he had bleeding in the brain. So, surgery. He pulled through the surgery alright. I was there to hear this news, with my dad, brother, the mother of him, and some of her co-workers. He went to ICU from there and he's going to be unconscious for a little while. He may or may not have brain damage. I hope he doesn't.
I was having a conversation with him, the first in a while, about why bad things happen to people. I said it's because it gives us wisdom. We would never grow without it. I don't know if he believed me or if that's the whole answer. He's actually a very philosophical person. He's been trying to figure out if God exists. I hope his search ends with this. He's had a lot of hard things in his life and this is another hard thing. It's awful but truly happy people often come out of situations like this even if they weren't happy before the awful thing happened to them. Things like this can give a person a whole new outlook on life and I really hope that happens. Obstacles help creativity, especially in filmmaking. His annoying girlfriend is coming up tomorrow to visit him. People turn to prayer at a time like this and his girlfriend's roommate has been working on a 'prayer chain' whatever that means. You can't always neglect something forever and then turn around and hope it's there when you turn around. But I think it's always good for people to remember God no matter when or how it happens. A little light is always good. We don't know in what ways God controls these things. A lot of us just know that He does. There's a plan for the good and the bad. I hope that my friend gets some wisdom and some faith, and maybe even a new outlook on life. I mostly hope that he comes out with no brain damage (and being single again, he he - just kidding).
I get to pay to be poked with small sharp needles tomorrow; acupuncture. I have a meeting on Thursday (well two, one with someone for a school thing) with a small production company that put ads on craigslist looking for 'young' talent: actors, writers etc. It's possible they sell drugs and stuff (but note that I love craigslist). They don't have a website and I haven't found any information on them except that the guy I talked to posted on a blog about some skateboarder guy who moved to Utah or somewhere. I didn't actually like the guy on the phone. First of all, I could hardly understand anything he said. He was either a former auctioneer or I'm lost. I don't think he knows what pronunciation is. I didn't like his voice anyway. There are a lot of tiny production companies around here. Usually two man operations that do small commercials for local tv. They have a good location though there aren't any really shady places around here.
I've lost many hours studying for that big test on March 14th because I've been sick and lazy. I'm surprised I actually know what synecdoche means. That's crazy. I still haven't figured out the 3 types, 8 classes, and 3 cases of pronouns. I have so much to do. This morning when I found out about my friend, I couldn't do anything like sit or eat. But very quickly my dad was leaving to visit so I went with him and the butterflies in my chest simmered down. Let's face it, studying was a lost cause today.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Work
I am now on page 38 and two pages under my estimate. Not bad but I want to add some scenes to spice up some scenes that I had just put in there because I needed scenes. I also want to add a tiny bit of length. If I compromise on pages now then I'll keep doing it until I end up with a much shorter screenplay than I wanted. In addition, I would like to add some Indie film attributes to it because I don't want it to be too Hollywood or go so far as to be a made-for-TV-movie type movie.
I have one problems in my life currently. One is rather insignificant and the other is rather important. Of course, if I add in the fact that it has been raining a lot lately and my bedroom window has major issues than I have a third issue. Not only is my window letting in rain so that it soaks the window seal (which could have been a hazard had we not noticed it because the water was about to drip onto an electrical outlet) but it also is starting to grow mold. Whether it's hazardous or not, it is still a problem since I have allergies and this is right where I sleep. One fun fact about my bedroom is that just before I moved in, we had to take out a piece of wall in the closet to deal with mold growing there (due to a leaking water heater) but we also found within that wall, an ant farm. We have ants in our house frequently and my bedroom gets them crawling through every couple hours (just a couple ants) but our bathroom and kitchen sometimes get it too. And by bathroom sometimes, I mean I'm constantly getting out of the shower, drying myself off, and finding an ant crawling on my shoulder. And I'm constantly killing them around the sink. What's especially nice is that we constantly have spiders in our shower because of it. The ants aren't coming in trails, they're just one by one and randomly walking around our bathroom. It doesn't help that my stepmom will leave banana peels and old drinks in there. My dog Fred is still confused when he realizes they exist which he seems to realize and seems to forget because he's always rather puzzled when he sees one.
My much larger issue is that I'm going to go completely broke in a few months because I have to take three classes through continuing education at the university nearby. It's $220/unit and I have to take 10 units. That and the fact that I have to pay for gas and food means that I will have no money very soon. I'm grateful that I don't pay rent and I don't have many expenses but I also haven't been all that frugal lately. I should be getting financial aid next year but I'm on my own this quarter. My sales are excellent at the Pampered Chef shows but I have so few of them that I really don't make all that much money. If I had just one a week, I would be doing fine. I actually am doing three this month which is excellent but in January I had one and next month, so far, I only have one booked. I prepare the newsletter for one of the local Chamber of Commerce's but they say that if I don't also get businesses to advertise in the newsletter that my job will become obsolete. That's a pretty penny each month. Then there is babysitting. My babysitting hours have been split in half because of the husband's promotion at work. I still haven't gotten substitute teaching work and the district that does most of that isn't hiring because they have too many subs and now they only allow students doing student-teaching. I am approved at a district with only one school but no one has called in sick yet. It almost makes me pray that one of the teachers does get sick.
The other option right now is to put in hours at my dad's store. Today he gave me a lecture on how all of his employees love their jobs and want to work there. It's just an electronics store, well two. He said that I was being terribly immature in thinking that most people hate their jobs claiming that it's just a 'teenager thing.' I think I'm right but I started thinking about it and I still think I'm right. The thing is that all I want to do is write for a living and I find all other work basically meaningless. It makes me a rather lazy worker. I know this isn't true of most or at least some screenwriters but it's true of me. I can't imagine doing some meaningless job and enjoying it. I wonder if people who have normal jobs, like in an office working 9 to 5, if they actually get up and enjoy going to work. I can't imagine but maybe some can. I don't get that. I had to go and cover lunches at my dad's store even though he had three employees working. I got to do 18 daily reports which are actually very easy and I like that kind of mundane work. And then I got to price two really small orders. Plus I got to do it all with a smile even though it didn't come from my heart. I really don't enjoy working at my dad's store although I do actually get some pleasure from working with that guy I'm attracted to (a different guy from the guy mentioned earlier, this is a guy whom I let know I don't like him anymore and that we can't be friends). He's basically slept with everyone in our unincorporated city, which is rather disgusting but I guess it does say something about his charm. I wish I could still get all obsessed about a hot celebrity guy because my fixations are rather unhealthy and I have to deal with them a whole lot more since I come face to face with them on a regular basis. What is really obnoxious is that I have had two people this past year suggest that I try online dating. I'm too young, right? I haven't given up just yet. My point is that I'm going to go broke very soon. I'm a cheap person in general and I love saving money but even I can't keep money in my bank account. Maybe we're all meant to have awful jobs that we don't enjoy.
I'm worried about tomorrow. I'm teaching for the first time. I volunteered at a small private school nearby and I'm teaching the kids there to make a film. Tomorrow I'm teaching for a half an hour to forty-five minutes on film history and then I'll help them make an extremely short stop-motion photography film. Kids can be scary. These kids like me but I've never taught kids before. I've taught grown-ups becuase I do Pampered Chef and I teach nice grown-up types (or in one case a drunk Australian guy) how to cook something and about our wonderful products.
One last thing. My acupuncturist gave me these herbs. They taste awful and you're supposed to drink them. So, I've been putting them in coffee and then adding a cappucino mix or hot chocolate along with sugar and creamer. It works. It's the only thing that works. I'm supposed to take these herbs twice a day for allergies but I've been doing it once per day because I don't usually drink coffee and I don't want to go overboard with it. Plus coffee doesn't actually do anything for me. I would love it to give me some energy or actually wake me up. Today, my right nostril has been terribly aggravating. Every time I pushed my glasses up a tiny bit, a nerve in my right nostril would sting painfully for no apparent reason. I had to push my glasses up frequently because they are terribly bent out of shape all the time and if I bend them anymore my eyelashes will be annoyingly touching the rims which frequently happens already.
I have one problems in my life currently. One is rather insignificant and the other is rather important. Of course, if I add in the fact that it has been raining a lot lately and my bedroom window has major issues than I have a third issue. Not only is my window letting in rain so that it soaks the window seal (which could have been a hazard had we not noticed it because the water was about to drip onto an electrical outlet) but it also is starting to grow mold. Whether it's hazardous or not, it is still a problem since I have allergies and this is right where I sleep. One fun fact about my bedroom is that just before I moved in, we had to take out a piece of wall in the closet to deal with mold growing there (due to a leaking water heater) but we also found within that wall, an ant farm. We have ants in our house frequently and my bedroom gets them crawling through every couple hours (just a couple ants) but our bathroom and kitchen sometimes get it too. And by bathroom sometimes, I mean I'm constantly getting out of the shower, drying myself off, and finding an ant crawling on my shoulder. And I'm constantly killing them around the sink. What's especially nice is that we constantly have spiders in our shower because of it. The ants aren't coming in trails, they're just one by one and randomly walking around our bathroom. It doesn't help that my stepmom will leave banana peels and old drinks in there. My dog Fred is still confused when he realizes they exist which he seems to realize and seems to forget because he's always rather puzzled when he sees one.
My much larger issue is that I'm going to go completely broke in a few months because I have to take three classes through continuing education at the university nearby. It's $220/unit and I have to take 10 units. That and the fact that I have to pay for gas and food means that I will have no money very soon. I'm grateful that I don't pay rent and I don't have many expenses but I also haven't been all that frugal lately. I should be getting financial aid next year but I'm on my own this quarter. My sales are excellent at the Pampered Chef shows but I have so few of them that I really don't make all that much money. If I had just one a week, I would be doing fine. I actually am doing three this month which is excellent but in January I had one and next month, so far, I only have one booked. I prepare the newsletter for one of the local Chamber of Commerce's but they say that if I don't also get businesses to advertise in the newsletter that my job will become obsolete. That's a pretty penny each month. Then there is babysitting. My babysitting hours have been split in half because of the husband's promotion at work. I still haven't gotten substitute teaching work and the district that does most of that isn't hiring because they have too many subs and now they only allow students doing student-teaching. I am approved at a district with only one school but no one has called in sick yet. It almost makes me pray that one of the teachers does get sick.
The other option right now is to put in hours at my dad's store. Today he gave me a lecture on how all of his employees love their jobs and want to work there. It's just an electronics store, well two. He said that I was being terribly immature in thinking that most people hate their jobs claiming that it's just a 'teenager thing.' I think I'm right but I started thinking about it and I still think I'm right. The thing is that all I want to do is write for a living and I find all other work basically meaningless. It makes me a rather lazy worker. I know this isn't true of most or at least some screenwriters but it's true of me. I can't imagine doing some meaningless job and enjoying it. I wonder if people who have normal jobs, like in an office working 9 to 5, if they actually get up and enjoy going to work. I can't imagine but maybe some can. I don't get that. I had to go and cover lunches at my dad's store even though he had three employees working. I got to do 18 daily reports which are actually very easy and I like that kind of mundane work. And then I got to price two really small orders. Plus I got to do it all with a smile even though it didn't come from my heart. I really don't enjoy working at my dad's store although I do actually get some pleasure from working with that guy I'm attracted to (a different guy from the guy mentioned earlier, this is a guy whom I let know I don't like him anymore and that we can't be friends). He's basically slept with everyone in our unincorporated city, which is rather disgusting but I guess it does say something about his charm. I wish I could still get all obsessed about a hot celebrity guy because my fixations are rather unhealthy and I have to deal with them a whole lot more since I come face to face with them on a regular basis. What is really obnoxious is that I have had two people this past year suggest that I try online dating. I'm too young, right? I haven't given up just yet. My point is that I'm going to go broke very soon. I'm a cheap person in general and I love saving money but even I can't keep money in my bank account. Maybe we're all meant to have awful jobs that we don't enjoy.
I'm worried about tomorrow. I'm teaching for the first time. I volunteered at a small private school nearby and I'm teaching the kids there to make a film. Tomorrow I'm teaching for a half an hour to forty-five minutes on film history and then I'll help them make an extremely short stop-motion photography film. Kids can be scary. These kids like me but I've never taught kids before. I've taught grown-ups becuase I do Pampered Chef and I teach nice grown-up types (or in one case a drunk Australian guy) how to cook something and about our wonderful products.
One last thing. My acupuncturist gave me these herbs. They taste awful and you're supposed to drink them. So, I've been putting them in coffee and then adding a cappucino mix or hot chocolate along with sugar and creamer. It works. It's the only thing that works. I'm supposed to take these herbs twice a day for allergies but I've been doing it once per day because I don't usually drink coffee and I don't want to go overboard with it. Plus coffee doesn't actually do anything for me. I would love it to give me some energy or actually wake me up. Today, my right nostril has been terribly aggravating. Every time I pushed my glasses up a tiny bit, a nerve in my right nostril would sting painfully for no apparent reason. I had to push my glasses up frequently because they are terribly bent out of shape all the time and if I bend them anymore my eyelashes will be annoyingly touching the rims which frequently happens already.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Constructive Criticism
I was having a pretty good day today. I went in and observed a classroom in which I'm going to be going back to next week to teach them how to make a film. They liked me so all was going well. I went home and found an alarming email. It was alarming to me because I am vastly afraid of any kind of rejection.
Since I figured out that I wanted to pursue a teaching career, I've been emailing an advisor with questions at the school I want to attend. She answered my emails, which weren't that many in my opinion and all with valid questions that hadn't been answered elsewhere even though I'd scoured her emails and the website. I asked her questions about all the vast amount of prerequisites I had to get over with. In any case, she emailed me today and said that I was: not a good listener, not cut out for the credentialing program, was basically unintelligent, and that I should instead attend Chapman. This was all based on a few emails in which I asked valid questions. I knew that I emailed her a lot and although I didn't enjoy it, I still needed the questions answered and afterall, it's her job. She claimed that she had answered my questions when she had not. Here's one example: I've been asking especially about this one course. First of all, it says clearly (and I talked to a credentialing advisor about this) that I do not have to take this course. Instead, if one has the classroom experience with either observing or actually teaching and has 45 hours, they do not have to take the course. At first she didn't say that I had to take the course. So I asked her when I can get this done. Can it be before I'm admitted to the school (I've heard varied answers)? In any case, I figured out that I had to get the prerequisite done before fall even though the other advisor acted like there was some wiggle room there. So, I'd ask her quesitons about it.
I replied graciously to her mean email. Her reply was to not acknowledge that I am in fact intelligent or able to go through the program. She also said that no matter what, I had to take the course 100% even though I have a document and another advisor against her. She could talk to tons of people, even ones high in the community, they would only have good things to say about me. After all, someone put me in charge of The Merchants Faire as faire coordinator, which happens twice a year and brings in at least 4,000 people. As well as the Chamber of Commerce newsletter for the same city. Not to mention that I had a great GPA from UC Berkeley. (She had said in a previous email that it was a disadvantage that I attended there) She made a lot of assumptions and generalizations from our emails. She also claimed that I was starting late and trying to get the university to cover up my mistake. It wasn't a mistake and I'm willing to do whatever it takes but I'm also just trying to see what my options are for each requirement. Why should I do extra work? What I don't understand is what her issues are. Does she hate her job, family life, or what? I don't take rejection well but at least it doesn't have a lasting effect on me. It's certainly not going to stop me though the fact that my own advisor hates me, probably won't be a plus. It's so weird because everyone I know likes me. I'm guessing she'd even hate Bambi if it were human and not a fictional character. But again that is an assumption on my part. School is so going to be fun next year. Although I still have to get in (ooh, how much a 2.75 GPA scares me) and I do have to pass the CSET. I study an hour everyday. I didn't have to study or really do much work at all at Berkeley. Maybe I'm smart or something. I think it's the self-esteem talking. At least I have one thing to hope for: my sales are up for Pampered Chef and I'm hoping to win a cool electric item which is a promotion ending this month. I have two more shows and I think I can do it. If not, I have very little going for me. My babysitting hours have gone down to every other week because the husband got a promotion, maybe that is for the better because I'm going to try to get some substitute teaching work. But I actually do look forward to teaching kids about filmmaking and film history although the embarrassment may be great. At least they like me already. I don't know what is going on in that advisor's life right now or maybe she's always like that but I think she needs some prayers, after all she is taking it out on me and who knows how many other students. I've had some headaches today.
Since I figured out that I wanted to pursue a teaching career, I've been emailing an advisor with questions at the school I want to attend. She answered my emails, which weren't that many in my opinion and all with valid questions that hadn't been answered elsewhere even though I'd scoured her emails and the website. I asked her questions about all the vast amount of prerequisites I had to get over with. In any case, she emailed me today and said that I was: not a good listener, not cut out for the credentialing program, was basically unintelligent, and that I should instead attend Chapman. This was all based on a few emails in which I asked valid questions. I knew that I emailed her a lot and although I didn't enjoy it, I still needed the questions answered and afterall, it's her job. She claimed that she had answered my questions when she had not. Here's one example: I've been asking especially about this one course. First of all, it says clearly (and I talked to a credentialing advisor about this) that I do not have to take this course. Instead, if one has the classroom experience with either observing or actually teaching and has 45 hours, they do not have to take the course. At first she didn't say that I had to take the course. So I asked her when I can get this done. Can it be before I'm admitted to the school (I've heard varied answers)? In any case, I figured out that I had to get the prerequisite done before fall even though the other advisor acted like there was some wiggle room there. So, I'd ask her quesitons about it.
I replied graciously to her mean email. Her reply was to not acknowledge that I am in fact intelligent or able to go through the program. She also said that no matter what, I had to take the course 100% even though I have a document and another advisor against her. She could talk to tons of people, even ones high in the community, they would only have good things to say about me. After all, someone put me in charge of The Merchants Faire as faire coordinator, which happens twice a year and brings in at least 4,000 people. As well as the Chamber of Commerce newsletter for the same city. Not to mention that I had a great GPA from UC Berkeley. (She had said in a previous email that it was a disadvantage that I attended there) She made a lot of assumptions and generalizations from our emails. She also claimed that I was starting late and trying to get the university to cover up my mistake. It wasn't a mistake and I'm willing to do whatever it takes but I'm also just trying to see what my options are for each requirement. Why should I do extra work? What I don't understand is what her issues are. Does she hate her job, family life, or what? I don't take rejection well but at least it doesn't have a lasting effect on me. It's certainly not going to stop me though the fact that my own advisor hates me, probably won't be a plus. It's so weird because everyone I know likes me. I'm guessing she'd even hate Bambi if it were human and not a fictional character. But again that is an assumption on my part. School is so going to be fun next year. Although I still have to get in (ooh, how much a 2.75 GPA scares me) and I do have to pass the CSET. I study an hour everyday. I didn't have to study or really do much work at all at Berkeley. Maybe I'm smart or something. I think it's the self-esteem talking. At least I have one thing to hope for: my sales are up for Pampered Chef and I'm hoping to win a cool electric item which is a promotion ending this month. I have two more shows and I think I can do it. If not, I have very little going for me. My babysitting hours have gone down to every other week because the husband got a promotion, maybe that is for the better because I'm going to try to get some substitute teaching work. But I actually do look forward to teaching kids about filmmaking and film history although the embarrassment may be great. At least they like me already. I don't know what is going on in that advisor's life right now or maybe she's always like that but I think she needs some prayers, after all she is taking it out on me and who knows how many other students. I've had some headaches today.
Monday, February 9, 2009
1st Act
I just finished the first act and a feeling of completion has set in but will soon leave when I think "hey, I still have two more acts to go." I'm only a quarter of a page under what I wanted. I don't usually strive for the goal of 30 pages in the first act but as it's the general goal, I thought it would be good for this one, my supposed best one. It's not necessary but I like to write down an estimate of the pages for each action in my outline. It keeps me slightly focused and helps me to make sure I'm getting the pages I want. I think the most difficult part of the outline though is figuring out where exactly to place the 1st and 2nd turning points. Although figuring out what they are in the story tops that. Before I start the outline, I have to have an idea. Once I have an idea, I can start thinking and brainstorming up a story. Once I have a story, I figure out who/what(s): the main character is, the theme, the catalyst, and the 1st and 2nd turning points. And structure it using those things. I know where one act ends and the other begins based on the first and second turning points. Every screenplay has a three act structure but whether and where it has everything else can differ although generally turning points stay the same even in a flashback narrative or group narrative. New structures pop up everyday, however a story always has a beginning, middle, and end whether it's in that order or not.
My chronically drunken neighbor woke me up this morning at 4:30. He went into the common outside area which is outside my window. He was either singing a couple verses of a song or talking really loudly, either way he was not understandable. But that's just the way he is. He can be talking and nothing about it will make any sense. He also called the house this morning and left a long strange message on the machine. And then came by and asked me to read a check someone had given him to make sure that the bank would take it. In any case, it took me a little while to fall back asleep (after the singing or talking) and then I kept waking up and falling asleep and so on. I was already a bit tired because I had one of three possible things yesterday: allergies, a 1 day cold, or a sinus infection. I get that a lot, at least this year. I read that allergies are not a sign of any kind of weakness it is actually a sign of a strong immune system though a rather non-discriminating one.
I get allergies a lot. I went to acupuncture for it but that was also for my neck. I get random pain in my neck and sometimes neck spasms that go away after a couple minutes or so. I go again tomorrow. In any case, my first time (a couple weeks ago) was not very fun. I was laughing quite a bit because my back is very ticklish. Every time she touched me or stuck a needle in me I'd twitch and start laughing. It's not fun. I also can't get a back massage because then I'll start laughing hysterically and it's like torture.
I had CPR training on Friday and was partnered with an older man. I learned a lot about CPR and when it came to the heimleich maneuver, we had to wrap our arms around each other and find each other's belly buttons and then hold each other for a couple extra seconds just above the belly. In other guy news, the man from my church who actually likes me (he's 28) keeps trying to get me to go out on a real date (though he didn't specify the date part) with me. But the way he says it annoys me to death. He say "So, what are we doing for dinner tonight?" Or "What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" Since I didn't say I wanted to do that, ever, and we certainly didn't make any plans for that especially 'tonight,' I don't see how I could possibly want to do anything or plan to do anything that we haven't planned.
I just got my CSET: English book and I started studying that. Let me ask you an easy one: "During the prewriting stage, you might do all of the following EXCEPT: A. Create lists. B. have a brainstorming session. C. research D. Edit for grammar." Another practice question was very interesting (not), did you know that the only indefinite pronoun from the answers listed that can take either a singular or plural verb (among the words: something, each, neither, or none) is none. I didn't.
In any case, I'm really glad I was able to finish the first act and in a timely manner. I only have like 80 or 90 pages left. I do enjoy writing. I hate revising. But the ultimate thing is finishing with an entire screenplay and just thinking "I'm done." It's a great feeling.
My chronically drunken neighbor woke me up this morning at 4:30. He went into the common outside area which is outside my window. He was either singing a couple verses of a song or talking really loudly, either way he was not understandable. But that's just the way he is. He can be talking and nothing about it will make any sense. He also called the house this morning and left a long strange message on the machine. And then came by and asked me to read a check someone had given him to make sure that the bank would take it. In any case, it took me a little while to fall back asleep (after the singing or talking) and then I kept waking up and falling asleep and so on. I was already a bit tired because I had one of three possible things yesterday: allergies, a 1 day cold, or a sinus infection. I get that a lot, at least this year. I read that allergies are not a sign of any kind of weakness it is actually a sign of a strong immune system though a rather non-discriminating one.
I get allergies a lot. I went to acupuncture for it but that was also for my neck. I get random pain in my neck and sometimes neck spasms that go away after a couple minutes or so. I go again tomorrow. In any case, my first time (a couple weeks ago) was not very fun. I was laughing quite a bit because my back is very ticklish. Every time she touched me or stuck a needle in me I'd twitch and start laughing. It's not fun. I also can't get a back massage because then I'll start laughing hysterically and it's like torture.
I had CPR training on Friday and was partnered with an older man. I learned a lot about CPR and when it came to the heimleich maneuver, we had to wrap our arms around each other and find each other's belly buttons and then hold each other for a couple extra seconds just above the belly. In other guy news, the man from my church who actually likes me (he's 28) keeps trying to get me to go out on a real date (though he didn't specify the date part) with me. But the way he says it annoys me to death. He say "So, what are we doing for dinner tonight?" Or "What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" Since I didn't say I wanted to do that, ever, and we certainly didn't make any plans for that especially 'tonight,' I don't see how I could possibly want to do anything or plan to do anything that we haven't planned.
I just got my CSET: English book and I started studying that. Let me ask you an easy one: "During the prewriting stage, you might do all of the following EXCEPT: A. Create lists. B. have a brainstorming session. C. research D. Edit for grammar." Another practice question was very interesting (not), did you know that the only indefinite pronoun from the answers listed that can take either a singular or plural verb (among the words: something, each, neither, or none) is none. I didn't.
In any case, I'm really glad I was able to finish the first act and in a timely manner. I only have like 80 or 90 pages left. I do enjoy writing. I hate revising. But the ultimate thing is finishing with an entire screenplay and just thinking "I'm done." It's a great feeling.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Inspiration
I've found it somewhat difficult on occasion to sit down and write. Most writers spend hours just staring at their computer screens. I don't really do that. When I'm in front of the computer, I write. But lately I've felt that my dialogue hasn't been quite as witty as usual. Maybe because the story is a little dramatic and sometimes witty can run straight into cliches or just not sound original. But when I go back and revise, I usually find new ways to say the same thing. I did get a movie from netflix staring Ginger Rogers that I consider research or as much research as I'm going to do on one plot line in my film regarding marriage.
My neighbors kept me up till 2 in the morning. They weren't loud. They were murmuring drunkenly outside my window. And then they played loud music this morning. It was country. I hate country. I had my stepmom call them but what they consider quiet I still consider loud. I couldn't study or write. At least that's my excuse for today. I'm overwhelmed by the things that I have to do to get into the teacher credentialing program at a nearby university. I'm getting CPR certified tomorrow. I have a Pampered Chef party at my house on Saturday. I hate talking in public. I will definitely get over it or flee from all of the jobs I have. I also can't cook and talk at the same time. I hate tests and I have one that will decide what happens next in my life.
I'm also amazed at my friendships. I have very few of them and I understand why. Friends are completely unreliable. (And off on one tangent - I am not a good novelist for the same reason that this article doesn't flow at all - screenwriting is more of a tangent kind of world - although each tangent must have a reason) I have one friend that I have been friends with since middle school but I feel we've grown apart. First I moved away to go to school then came back and she moved away for school. We've emailed for the first time in a great number of months (I think September). The last time I saw her in person was not the best time I've had. We went shopping and then I had lunch while she tried to not look at me as she's completely grossed out by any human being eating. And then she acted really PMS'y after that and was being rather secretive about a family issue. I had a friend from community college and we went to university together and he met someone and got engaged and everything. I like the fiancee a lot better than the friend. We don't really talk at all. I got a new cell phone and purposefully left out his number. I don't have it at all. When I was visiting where they live, I mentioned I would be there (in email) and they were too "busy." There was another friend who's friends with my brother who I told that I don't like him and don't want to hang out with him again. I'm really attracted to him and he has a girlfriend whom I dislike. She acts like Glenda the Good Witch when she's around me and treats me like I'm a whole lot younger than I am in relation to her. My brother has failed to hang out with me for quite a while even though I have a netflix of a Bergman film waiting for him. That's okay I'm on the 3 at a time plan. I hate my room. If I had the money I'd move out of my dad's place in half a heart beat. I'm hoping to get some financial aid for school so it may possibly be a possibility but likely not. I do wish my neighbors had manners. Maybe if they were from Germany. Too bad. They're terribly inconsiderate. My dad yelled at me about me complaining about them making my life difficult. With the economy my dad and stepmom need their rent money. We live in a tri-plex that my stepmom owns. I hear loud booming noises occasionally from their apartment as if the huns are attacking. That's always interesting. I can also hear them in their bathroom, far too well. And they play music loud nearly everyday.
As to the title of this article, let's get on with it. Sorry about that. It takes me about 2 or 3 screenplays to finally get off one inspiration. For a while I was incorporating a guy I liked. Now everything is about my mom. It's so weird to me. It's like she never existed. I don't even understand my own brain most of the time. I dealt with my mom having cancer rather badly, I thought, while she was alive. Since then, whenever I think of her, there's nothing. Sometimes I can even achieve a real smile about her. One thing that's important about her and me is that I was very co-dependent on her before that. I didn't like to go to the bank or the post office without her. I was even going to go to university with her but she got cancer first. It was not fun to go to meetings and places without her and deal with this piece of news. It's helped me to become severely independent (although that may not be saying much). But I remember the feeling of great comfort from her that I felt when she was there for those things. That's one thing I miss yet something that I'm still able to experience even if it's in retrospect. I've just put her into my writing, mainly the plotlines. I need something new soon. But I have one or two still planned regarding that. I don't really even miss her in any real way. It didn't affect my life at all. The cancer did just not the death. No one even believes me. I can't get my dad to stop feeling sorry for me. It's really awful. And I'm constantly afraid that I'm going to run into someone who knew her who doesn't know about it. And I just might. That'll be harder than the death for me. I can't believe it's been over a year. Time went by too fast. The best thing to do when writing is to relate the actual experience and truly transform it into something completely different. At least for me. It was the strangest thing. I went to see something at the school I'm planning to attend and I had the best meeting. I spoke so confidently and it was really surprising like it wasn't even me. I hope it continues.
My dad wonders why I don't take well to working in his store for endless hours. I don't like to waste my time just to make a little money (very little in fact). It's a waste to me. It's not meaningful work. My mom was a hard worker and that's all she did. She never got to go for any of her dreams. I need to devote my life to my dreams. It's important but most people don't realize that. A screenwriter can have a full-time job and just write when they can. And make it someday if they're lucky. Stress is another thing involved here. Stress is one factor in cancer. Stress in general brings disease and illness, even the common cold. Having too many things on my calendar makes me crazy. My dad doesn't care about taking it slow or taking a break. It's always work work work. I know what's important in life. I need time for my dreams and for peace of mind. Something my neighbors are stomping on. My stepmom, the landlord, will now do nothing about them, just let them do what they want. I'm stressed about the CSET (a test) that I have take next month and if I don't pass all four subtests of English then I can't start the credentialing program and I have to wait and take whichever ones I don't pass over and I can't start until I pass. Writing is going to be difficult.
My neighbors kept me up till 2 in the morning. They weren't loud. They were murmuring drunkenly outside my window. And then they played loud music this morning. It was country. I hate country. I had my stepmom call them but what they consider quiet I still consider loud. I couldn't study or write. At least that's my excuse for today. I'm overwhelmed by the things that I have to do to get into the teacher credentialing program at a nearby university. I'm getting CPR certified tomorrow. I have a Pampered Chef party at my house on Saturday. I hate talking in public. I will definitely get over it or flee from all of the jobs I have. I also can't cook and talk at the same time. I hate tests and I have one that will decide what happens next in my life.
I'm also amazed at my friendships. I have very few of them and I understand why. Friends are completely unreliable. (And off on one tangent - I am not a good novelist for the same reason that this article doesn't flow at all - screenwriting is more of a tangent kind of world - although each tangent must have a reason) I have one friend that I have been friends with since middle school but I feel we've grown apart. First I moved away to go to school then came back and she moved away for school. We've emailed for the first time in a great number of months (I think September). The last time I saw her in person was not the best time I've had. We went shopping and then I had lunch while she tried to not look at me as she's completely grossed out by any human being eating. And then she acted really PMS'y after that and was being rather secretive about a family issue. I had a friend from community college and we went to university together and he met someone and got engaged and everything. I like the fiancee a lot better than the friend. We don't really talk at all. I got a new cell phone and purposefully left out his number. I don't have it at all. When I was visiting where they live, I mentioned I would be there (in email) and they were too "busy." There was another friend who's friends with my brother who I told that I don't like him and don't want to hang out with him again. I'm really attracted to him and he has a girlfriend whom I dislike. She acts like Glenda the Good Witch when she's around me and treats me like I'm a whole lot younger than I am in relation to her. My brother has failed to hang out with me for quite a while even though I have a netflix of a Bergman film waiting for him. That's okay I'm on the 3 at a time plan. I hate my room. If I had the money I'd move out of my dad's place in half a heart beat. I'm hoping to get some financial aid for school so it may possibly be a possibility but likely not. I do wish my neighbors had manners. Maybe if they were from Germany. Too bad. They're terribly inconsiderate. My dad yelled at me about me complaining about them making my life difficult. With the economy my dad and stepmom need their rent money. We live in a tri-plex that my stepmom owns. I hear loud booming noises occasionally from their apartment as if the huns are attacking. That's always interesting. I can also hear them in their bathroom, far too well. And they play music loud nearly everyday.
As to the title of this article, let's get on with it. Sorry about that. It takes me about 2 or 3 screenplays to finally get off one inspiration. For a while I was incorporating a guy I liked. Now everything is about my mom. It's so weird to me. It's like she never existed. I don't even understand my own brain most of the time. I dealt with my mom having cancer rather badly, I thought, while she was alive. Since then, whenever I think of her, there's nothing. Sometimes I can even achieve a real smile about her. One thing that's important about her and me is that I was very co-dependent on her before that. I didn't like to go to the bank or the post office without her. I was even going to go to university with her but she got cancer first. It was not fun to go to meetings and places without her and deal with this piece of news. It's helped me to become severely independent (although that may not be saying much). But I remember the feeling of great comfort from her that I felt when she was there for those things. That's one thing I miss yet something that I'm still able to experience even if it's in retrospect. I've just put her into my writing, mainly the plotlines. I need something new soon. But I have one or two still planned regarding that. I don't really even miss her in any real way. It didn't affect my life at all. The cancer did just not the death. No one even believes me. I can't get my dad to stop feeling sorry for me. It's really awful. And I'm constantly afraid that I'm going to run into someone who knew her who doesn't know about it. And I just might. That'll be harder than the death for me. I can't believe it's been over a year. Time went by too fast. The best thing to do when writing is to relate the actual experience and truly transform it into something completely different. At least for me. It was the strangest thing. I went to see something at the school I'm planning to attend and I had the best meeting. I spoke so confidently and it was really surprising like it wasn't even me. I hope it continues.
My dad wonders why I don't take well to working in his store for endless hours. I don't like to waste my time just to make a little money (very little in fact). It's a waste to me. It's not meaningful work. My mom was a hard worker and that's all she did. She never got to go for any of her dreams. I need to devote my life to my dreams. It's important but most people don't realize that. A screenwriter can have a full-time job and just write when they can. And make it someday if they're lucky. Stress is another thing involved here. Stress is one factor in cancer. Stress in general brings disease and illness, even the common cold. Having too many things on my calendar makes me crazy. My dad doesn't care about taking it slow or taking a break. It's always work work work. I know what's important in life. I need time for my dreams and for peace of mind. Something my neighbors are stomping on. My stepmom, the landlord, will now do nothing about them, just let them do what they want. I'm stressed about the CSET (a test) that I have take next month and if I don't pass all four subtests of English then I can't start the credentialing program and I have to wait and take whichever ones I don't pass over and I can't start until I pass. Writing is going to be difficult.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My Life Is Stupid
I'm on page 19 in my screenplay. But I did finally land on a title: Reminiscences. It's kind of a long difficult English word but I like it. And hey, if you don't know what that word means, maybe you should reavaluate your stupidity (much like I did when I lost my car - read on). I also got to research brain tumors. So, ask me anything (I'm just kidding).
The girls at ballet class have mellowed out a bit with their liking of me. Maybe it's because they know I'm going to stay and they don't want someone at all better than any of them. There are 4 or 5 girls that are better than me and then the same amount lesser than me. I think they're mostly in middle school, some younger, some older.
I lost my car today. But it was something so idiotic. I found it but it was mindblowinglystupid. My dad made me go to the post office and I only had time to do it while I was in a nearby city which I am not familar with even though I was born there. So, I parked my car a bit far away because the post office I was going to is in the downtown and parking is difficult and I walked to the post office from there which was 3 or 4 blocks. However, all the streets look the same and I had mixed up the names of two of the streets and on top of that took a different root back. I probably walked an extra 3 or 4 blocks back to my car. Don't I feel like I left my brain at home? It's easier than you think to loose a car. Just try parking at that one mall in Santa Clara or at the Bridge School Benefit Concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View. I've lost my car there too. Some trivia for those not from the central coast: there is a city here with an alley full of people's bubble gum. It's much less gross than it sounds. It's actually pretty interesting, like a 3D painting. It's not free candy, though (I learned that from Elf). This is in the downtown of the city I lost my car. Most people just call it SLO - pronounced slow. But it stands for three Spanish words. It also has one of the California missions in its downtown. I'm not even going to tell you the name of the city. I know, I hate guessing games too (but the name may be hidden somewhere in this article). When someone asks you to guess, ever, just say a very abrupt "No." Another trivia lesson, this is also the birthplace of Jamba Juice - a big smoothie chain. Once called Juice Club. We have two Jamba Juice's. I hate trivia unless it's about famous people or movies.
I had a dream last night where I was undergoing chemotherapy but I felt fine. I hate girl's night. I was subjected to this by the same friend. Sitting around with a bunch of girls, eating, and talking about the most trivial things to human existence is in fact not fun. Though eating is a great pastime.
At my old middle school, they're getting a video production class next year. I met with the principal of my old high school. They're getting a TV production class and maybe another similar class in the next few years. I hope to teach something like that. I'm working on applying to a school for a single subject credential. I think, hey, am I really cut out for teaching full time? I don't like kids though I guess I just don't really like people. I'm super nice, you would never know it. There are certain people that I love to be around though. And I'm not good at public speaking. There are lots of reasons I may not be good at it. And I'm still not sure I like the idea of a steady job. Ideally, I would just write all day but to do that now, I would have to have my dad pay for everything (and he does a lot of things so that he can hold them over my head) and I would never get out of here. I am going to apply for something called The Fullbright Scholarship Program. I'm trying to get an English teaching assistantship in Germany. I've been using the Rosetta Stone software in German. It's a pretty cool program (both Fullbright and Rosetta Stone). They don't give many scholarships out but it does pay for nearly all expenses. It's 9 or 10 months and for the 2010-2011 year. Maybe I should've hidden that information but that's okay. It's more Christian of me to help others. I hope to finish and get my teaching credential in spring quarter next year so I'd be done and ready for whatever. I just want to be done with school and if I had figured this out before I graduated, I could've been almost done with the program. It sucks. But on top of that, the program has all of these prerequisites that are all stupid. I'm just kidding. I just don't want extra work. I will have to take a bunch of tests so that I won't have to take more classes in subjects that I already know. I think I researched brain tumors too well, there's this weird spot on my forehead right now that feels really hot on the inside. I'm a slight hypochondriac by the way. I better not have a brain tumor. I almost constantly think I have breast cancer even though on another level, I seriously doubt it.
Just eat a lot of kiwi's. I love kiwi's, they have almost twice the vitamin C of an orange, as much potassium as a banana, some Vitamin E, a great source of dietary fiber, plus 4 minerals - calcium, iron, copper, and magnesium as well as some trace minerals - and an antioxidant called lutein. Supposedly the skin of it is edible and adds extra nutrients but who would want to eat furry skin? Plus they help reduce blood clots. I wonder if I get those. I clot really easily. I know this because it happened when I was donating blood (and in general when I get cuts of any kind, that I stop bleeding almost right away - for instance when I got all four wisdom teeth out, they put gauze in and I barely got that wet with blood before I stopped bleeding completely and didn't have any bleeding problems at all, it was literally a few drops of blood from surgery and that's it even though they give you a ton of gauze). I know that I get aches in the center of my arms and legs randomly and infrequently when I cease eating kiwi's for about a week. But that could also be a potassium defiency, even if only slight. You may cease being bored now.
I thought I would have more interesting things to talk about but then I realize it so matches the title of this article anyway.
The girls at ballet class have mellowed out a bit with their liking of me. Maybe it's because they know I'm going to stay and they don't want someone at all better than any of them. There are 4 or 5 girls that are better than me and then the same amount lesser than me. I think they're mostly in middle school, some younger, some older.
I lost my car today. But it was something so idiotic. I found it but it was mindblowinglystupid. My dad made me go to the post office and I only had time to do it while I was in a nearby city which I am not familar with even though I was born there. So, I parked my car a bit far away because the post office I was going to is in the downtown and parking is difficult and I walked to the post office from there which was 3 or 4 blocks. However, all the streets look the same and I had mixed up the names of two of the streets and on top of that took a different root back. I probably walked an extra 3 or 4 blocks back to my car. Don't I feel like I left my brain at home? It's easier than you think to loose a car. Just try parking at that one mall in Santa Clara or at the Bridge School Benefit Concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View. I've lost my car there too. Some trivia for those not from the central coast: there is a city here with an alley full of people's bubble gum. It's much less gross than it sounds. It's actually pretty interesting, like a 3D painting. It's not free candy, though (I learned that from Elf). This is in the downtown of the city I lost my car. Most people just call it SLO - pronounced slow. But it stands for three Spanish words. It also has one of the California missions in its downtown. I'm not even going to tell you the name of the city. I know, I hate guessing games too (but the name may be hidden somewhere in this article). When someone asks you to guess, ever, just say a very abrupt "No." Another trivia lesson, this is also the birthplace of Jamba Juice - a big smoothie chain. Once called Juice Club. We have two Jamba Juice's. I hate trivia unless it's about famous people or movies.
I had a dream last night where I was undergoing chemotherapy but I felt fine. I hate girl's night. I was subjected to this by the same friend. Sitting around with a bunch of girls, eating, and talking about the most trivial things to human existence is in fact not fun. Though eating is a great pastime.
At my old middle school, they're getting a video production class next year. I met with the principal of my old high school. They're getting a TV production class and maybe another similar class in the next few years. I hope to teach something like that. I'm working on applying to a school for a single subject credential. I think, hey, am I really cut out for teaching full time? I don't like kids though I guess I just don't really like people. I'm super nice, you would never know it. There are certain people that I love to be around though. And I'm not good at public speaking. There are lots of reasons I may not be good at it. And I'm still not sure I like the idea of a steady job. Ideally, I would just write all day but to do that now, I would have to have my dad pay for everything (and he does a lot of things so that he can hold them over my head) and I would never get out of here. I am going to apply for something called The Fullbright Scholarship Program. I'm trying to get an English teaching assistantship in Germany. I've been using the Rosetta Stone software in German. It's a pretty cool program (both Fullbright and Rosetta Stone). They don't give many scholarships out but it does pay for nearly all expenses. It's 9 or 10 months and for the 2010-2011 year. Maybe I should've hidden that information but that's okay. It's more Christian of me to help others. I hope to finish and get my teaching credential in spring quarter next year so I'd be done and ready for whatever. I just want to be done with school and if I had figured this out before I graduated, I could've been almost done with the program. It sucks. But on top of that, the program has all of these prerequisites that are all stupid. I'm just kidding. I just don't want extra work. I will have to take a bunch of tests so that I won't have to take more classes in subjects that I already know. I think I researched brain tumors too well, there's this weird spot on my forehead right now that feels really hot on the inside. I'm a slight hypochondriac by the way. I better not have a brain tumor. I almost constantly think I have breast cancer even though on another level, I seriously doubt it.
Just eat a lot of kiwi's. I love kiwi's, they have almost twice the vitamin C of an orange, as much potassium as a banana, some Vitamin E, a great source of dietary fiber, plus 4 minerals - calcium, iron, copper, and magnesium as well as some trace minerals - and an antioxidant called lutein. Supposedly the skin of it is edible and adds extra nutrients but who would want to eat furry skin? Plus they help reduce blood clots. I wonder if I get those. I clot really easily. I know this because it happened when I was donating blood (and in general when I get cuts of any kind, that I stop bleeding almost right away - for instance when I got all four wisdom teeth out, they put gauze in and I barely got that wet with blood before I stopped bleeding completely and didn't have any bleeding problems at all, it was literally a few drops of blood from surgery and that's it even though they give you a ton of gauze). I know that I get aches in the center of my arms and legs randomly and infrequently when I cease eating kiwi's for about a week. But that could also be a potassium defiency, even if only slight. You may cease being bored now.
I thought I would have more interesting things to talk about but then I realize it so matches the title of this article anyway.
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