Money

I was going over my finances today, it was hilarious. In a sad way. I suppose if I really wanted to pay off the debt I've accumulated on my credit cards recently, I might have a stellar $2 (technically $1.32) to my name. But I figure, I actually have to have more money that than that if I wish to drive my car, watch cable and netflix, and give back to society. And eat. So, I will keep the money I have in my checking accounts and continue to go in the negative on my credit cards. I have a job interview on Wednesday. The job description is vague since I don't know what it is, but it's working at a teen center run by Parks and Recreation so it must be a respectable job. I figure it would also give me some good experience with teens which would help me with my possible teaching career. Plus I really want the job and obviously, need the money. With the job market the way it is, it's been really difficult to find one at all.

I find out in one week if I passed that CSET subtest and got into the program. We'll see. I've been sick all weekend if you count Friday and not Sunday. I still have a cough. My dog Fred has been sick as well and I think my brain sang a happy tune and then died after editing two essays I have to turn in at 4pm today. That's the last of my school assignments and I'm basically done with school. Give me an A.

If I do get into the program I'll need to make $1800 this summer which will only pay tuition and not books or my livelihood. At least I'm getting some financial aid otherwise I might have just given up now. Though financial aid isn't a promise with the governor going crazy and all. I hope to make $1000 this year from the faire I'm coordinating, but hopefully $2000 or so. I've been told that I'm getting ripped off, but I really don't care. It benefits local merchants and we don't expect to do all that well anyway. We've only sold 20 booths which completely sucks. The goal was 150. I'd be more than happy with 100. Actually I'd be happy with 80. From my summer job (hopefully) I also hope to make an extra $1000 to pay off credit cards and give me a couple bucks to pay for a few things. Then when I get into the program I can babysit and pick up an hour or two at dad's store occasionally and then get as much food and stuff for free as possible since I'll be dirt poor. Not really though. I suppose I'm rather thankful that I live in an okay/nice house (though currently there's a loud pounding noise coming from the neighbor's music) with a fridge stocked with food, plus I have no car payments, and my car and health insurance is not an issue (though I'm scared to go to the doctor since I have to still pay for appointments). There are a lot of great things about my life.

I'd also like to spend some time ranting about the governor closing many state parks in my area. It's insane and will ultimately ruin our local economy since it relies on the tourism that comes from the state parks. I hope it doesn't happen because I don't want to see what happens to my beloved hometown when it dies. What was he thinking? It may cost money to keep them running; however, it brings back money from tourism 2-fold.

June Planning

My school quarter is almost over. I only have 2 papers due and that's it. I'm trying to get a mailing out to sell booths for the faire I'm coordinating. But all is not calm and quiet. I'm awaiting an answer on the credentialing program. Did I get it in? I get the results from the last subtest of the CSET English on the 15th and that will partially decide my acceptance to the program. If I don't get in, what am I going to do the rest of this year and next year? Am I just lost? One of my teachers told me in her office hours that she has to recommend me to the program. She's given me bad grades on essays that weren't bad. She questioned me about my teaching ability and desire. My other two teachers believe in me, but not her or my advisor. They won't tell me how I did on my professional aptitude interview. I know they are all wonderful at what they do, but help? I thought they told me I could do anything, that was a long time ago. Can I make out a pain resume and send it out? I can do anything still. Let me. As for the faire, we only have 20 booths sold, goal 150. It's on August 2nd. There have been so many obstacles thrown at me with the faire that it's been difficult to do anything. I'm starting to get a slight handle on some things. But I still don't have a summer job which I'll need if I expect to pay my tuition, supposing I get in and if not it'd be great to pay off the small amount of debt I've accumulated in the past month or two on my credit cards. It's weird how you become an adult and people either stop believing in you or they somehow try to believe in you, if they're family. I think it's time to get a boyfriend to rant at instead. Just kidding. I'm an adult, right? What am I doing with my life? It's a ravenous world out there.

A family friend died on memorial day, a commander in Iraq, left behind 3 adult kids and a loving wife, I went to his funeral yesterday, 600 people in attendance, free food anyone? the kids spoke and were so brave and understanding, how did that happen? I remember his voice, distinctive, preaching away in his nonjudgmental wise way, a wonderful man, blown up, less than two months away from home. Different home, better home, now. Do I send them just a card? Do they want my condolences? Does that just remind them they are supposed to be in pain?

As far as screenwriting goes, I plan to write a TV pilot in the summer and flesh out some ideas for some films. First I have to learn how to write a TV pilot. I've watched more hours of TV than most, but I've never written it. I naturally go for film writing since it comes more easily to me, oddly. Certainly English grammar is more foreign. I like to be creative. I still want to be a middle or high school English teacher. Not more than screenwriter. But enough. I hate nepoticism. I would like to kill that beast which used to be useful and is now withering away real talent. How do you make it as a screenwriter? Even as an adult? I want to be living alone with my dog Fred, writing, and of course, eating wonderful food. And of course, not ending up a spinster.